“You mean you’ve got properties available on other planets?” said Harry as he tried to ignore Mandy’s ghostly real estate agent cleavage and blue eyes that suddenly materialized too close for comfort.
Mandy pouted and laid a cool – very cool – hand on Harry’s recently regenerated cheek.
“Some find living here difficult,” Mandy said, understandingly. “You are not the first to struggle. The ghostly lifestyle seems harder to relax into for people who have lived their lives according to lots of rules.”
Reaching up, she gave Harry’s nose a tweak.
“Ow, that hurt!” said Harry. Why did you do that? You can’t go hurting customers like that!”
“No rules here!” said Mandy, smiling sweetly, then kicked Harry viciously in the shins.
“Ooh,” said Harry hopping around the musty office and wondering how he could feel pain, since he was dead.
An executive arm chair suddenly appeared just where he was going to fall and he gratefully flopped into it.
Mandy wobbled over with an exaggerated display of her hips, seated herself on Harry’s knee and stroked his throbbing nose.
“Diddums hurt you, Harry?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being here,” mumbled Harry, rather smothered by Mandy’s ample bosom. “Do you think you could go back and sit behind your desk so we can talk properly?”
Harry had just discovered that, in addition to feeling pain, he could also feel pleasure and Mandy on his knee was making rational thought impossible.
“OK, if you like,” said Mandy and flounced back to sit behind her desk, but not before she’d given Harry’s nose another vicious tweak.
Harry, restraining himself from crying out with the pain, settled for rubbing his nose and feeling miserable.
“It’s all been a bit much for me,” he mumbled. “Have you got something quiet, where I wouldn’t have to worry about other people? I just need time to collect myself. People are such a nuisance. I’ve always been able to do without them very well.”
“You are so lucky! I have just what you need,” smiled Mandy, who was now wearing a swimsuit that covered very little of her well developed curves, expressly designed, Harry was certain, to tease and make him uncomfortable.
“I hope you enjoy your new haunt!” Mandy smiled sweetly and started filing her fingernails and staring into the distance.
Harry found, once more, that he was confused.
“Er, have you got details of this place that you are recommending? How do I know where to go?”
“Oh, you are such a moaner! Do I have to do everything for you? Just walk through the door behind you and you can immediately start your new happy and relaxing haunt. Come back and see me again some time, if I can be of service. Bye Bye!”
When Harry turned his head, the door which he was certain hadn’t been there before, swung open. Strangely, he felt he could already hear the total silence within.
“Ahem!”
Harry officiously cleared his throat, straightened his tie, gave Mandy, who was now coloring her toe nails black, his best ‘glance of dismissal’, and stepped across the threshold into the silence.
(Rob Hopcott – online author – fiction – news)
Note from the author. I hope you are enjoying this series of free serialized short ghost stories by Rob Hopcott. Check back soon to read the ongoing ghostly story as it unfolds in regular free ghostly episodes.
Copyright Rob Hopcott 2007, all rights reserved. All characters in this humorous serialized ghost short story flash fiction and other free on-line humor, short stories, flash fictions, micro-fictions, sudden fictions, post card fictions or very short stories on this site are fictitious and no reference is intended to any person living or otherwise.
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